pratyahara-I think it's a balance thing

Today I went to an energy awareness workshop at a small private studio not far from where I live. There were about a dozen of us there, and we talked about universal energy, energy healing, sensing energy in others, and a little bit about the energy we ourselves put out.

I went because I've felt dry. Closed up. As a Reiki II practitioner, I have been given the means by which to be a conduit of God's healing energy. But I rarely use it. I rarely feel "permission" to. And I rarely feel that I receive it from others.

I told a couple of people in my small group that I keep my energy and emotions tightly closed up most of the time. It protects me from the "stuff" that flows around my office and the people I meet. But I also find that I'm turning inward more and more as I meditation more and more. I'm living inside my head most of the time. Spending time with myself most of the time.

This has been good for me, because in the past I have relied too much on others to gain my own sense of self. To feel loved and protected. But now I wonder if I've swung too far the other way.

I think I need to start figuring out a way to allow love to flow out from me to others, and for it to flow from others to me, but then also to keep it at a reasonable, balanced level.

pratyahara

 "Much of our emotional imbalance are our own creation. A person who is influenced by outside events and sensations can never achieve the inner peace and tranquility. This is because he or she will waste much mental and physical energy in trying to suppress unwanted sensations and to heighten other sensations."


Yeah, well...I certainly didn't find any inner peace or tranquility in my yoga class this morning. I tried. Lord knows I tried. But I was just unable to block out my overwhelming disgust with the class.


Our Saturday morning class is taught by two different instructors. One instructor is calm, whimsical, and flexible. The other is chatty, educational and sticks with her plan. They both should be good. In fact, both are good. But the chatty one is just not good for me. She just. plain. talks. too. much.


I've tried her classes several times and most of the time I just come out of there keyed up and anxious and frustrated with myself because I've let her chattiness intrude too much in my own practice.


I came to the conclusion today that I'll just have to not go when she is teaching. It bothers me that I can't overcome this. But it's just not worth it for me to get so worked up over it. I have another place to go, and I think I'll do that. I just wanted this one to work because it's at the club I belong to.


Sometimes I think we just have to "admit defeat." Maybe just for a time. Maybe eventually I'll be able to go back and try again with a little more success.

pratyahara

I have no idea what this means: "control of the senses." I haven't thought about this limb and I don't really think I understand the description of it. I think I may start to research this one.

I've been in Minnesota since the 16th and have kept up well with the Liberation Kriya I started at home on July 31. As I write this the day is nearly half over and I haven't done it yet, but I'll get it done. It pulls at me. The day is not really well started until I've done it.

Today I visited a yoga studio in Lakeville and took a Hatha yoga class. It was very enjoyable. Not too hard, but challenging enough that I feel well stretched-out and relaxed.