Thursday, July 29, 2010

isvarapranidhana

"to lay all your actions at the feet of God."


Today our son graduated from combat basic training with the U.S. Army and tomorrow he heads to further training in San Antonio, Texas.


Riley is not our son by birth. He is not formally adopted either. He came to me after he graduated from high school and needed assistance navigating the unfamiliar waters of enrolling in college. I was his chosen person because of my job in a high school guidance department. Because he had no home, we invited him into ours and he has been with us for a year now.


We could barely afford the two sons we already had, but knew right away that Riley needed to be one of us. We instinctively knew that, by being willing to offer our home and parental guidance and love to him, God would help us provide for any needs that might seem beyond our financial resources.


My husband and I are often congratulated for our generosity and we are uncomfortable with those kinds of remarks. We have never had much but we've always known we would be okay and not starve or end up on the street. God has seen us through tough financial times over the course of our 28-year marriage. As long as we continue to do what seems to be right and good and honest, we know that our needs will be provided.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talked about trusting God to supply all our needs. The passage Matthew 6:25-34 is about the lilies of the field and the birds of the air and how God cares for them. We are so much more to God than that. Verse 33 says:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."


Now as this beloved son leaves for the next phase of his Army career, we say goodbye to  him and send him with small tokens and expressions of our love. Riley told me today that he is coming to know God. We pray for him daily and one of the prayers we will offer for him is that he too, can know the abundant life God will give him as he learns to lay his actions at HIS feet. 



Wednesday, July 28, 2010

svadhyaya

Svadhyaya: self-study

The practice of meditation brings about a great deal of self-study. Particularly this 40-day Liberation Kriya I am doing. I completed day 29 this morning and I am pleased to realize that my day does not feel complete until I have done that 9 minutes. In fact, I find myself feeling a bit out of whack in the morning until I do it. There have been days when circumstances have prevented me from doing it first thing, and I find myself fretting about about getting in at some point.

But this morning's self-realization was that I no longer wish to do it as a TASK...something to check off each day. And while I'm doing it, I no longer wish to be clenching my body and WORKING to keep the arms up(right arm) and down(left arm) and in position. I have gained enough strength in both arms and shoulders now that I am pretty much able to just let my arms BE. Just floating out there in space. Now I am concentrating on just resting in the silence and not working to shut my brain off. I've been always on guard for the errant thought that needs to be released to the ether. This being on guard has actually been a thought process I've held onto!

And so now I feel like I'm getting to the point in my yoga journey (about 3 years now), that I believe my body will take care of things while I allow my mind to be set free.

Maybe I'm getting this?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

pratyahara

I have no idea what this means: "control of the senses." I haven't thought about this limb and I don't really think I understand the description of it. I think I may start to research this one.

I've been in Minnesota since the 16th and have kept up well with the Liberation Kriya I started at home on July 31. As I write this the day is nearly half over and I haven't done it yet, but I'll get it done. It pulls at me. The day is not really well started until I've done it.

Today I visited a yoga studio in Lakeville and took a Hatha yoga class. It was very enjoyable. Not too hard, but challenging enough that I feel well stretched-out and relaxed.

Friday, July 9, 2010

yamas: satya

"commitment to truthfulness"

The throat chakra, the 5th chakra, where "one's inner truth is expressed."

This has come up in my meditation the past few days. Earlier this week I began to feel a strong pull to offer silent meditation and prayer at our church. I decided to speak with our pastor about it, and I mapped out four weeks of meetings. I told her what I thought I would do and then said that I would not want to start this until my 40-day personal meditation was over. I want to absolutely certain that this is something I am called to do. I (and my pastor) have serious doubts that our church is ready to take on an hour-long meditation meeting each week. And I want to be sure of my own commitment. We agreed to pencil it in for the Thursday after Labor Day.

But now what I'm experiencing are feelings that I may be an impostor. I emailed my girlfriend and said:


"As I did my kriya this morning, and I kept YANKING my mind back where it had floated off to, I found myself saying "I'll tell people all these things they can do to try to quiet their mind...to try to wait for that small voice of God to speak to me...to hear that whisper of His love...and I myself can't do it for a millisecond. Who am I to try to help people to do what I myself am incapable of doing?"

Remember that story of Jesus in Gethsemane? He went off to pray and a few of the disciples said they would stay with him. But they kept falling asleep. That popped into my head this morning.

Mark 14:37-41 (New International Version)

 37Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Simon," he said to Peter, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? 38Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

 39Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

 41Returning the third time, he said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.'"


We'll have to see how this whole thing evolves. At Wednesday night's class, she invited anyone interested to stay after class tomorrow morning for a 30 minute meditation. I think she'll lead it, but she has mentioned me doing it.

Friday, July 2, 2010

dharana and being beloved

Today was the 3rd day of my 2nd attempt to do the Kriya of Liberation for 40 days. The other day I made a sound file to use for the kriya. It's a Burmese gong followed by 3 minutes of silence, gong, silence, gong, silence, gong. And there it ends. It's been wonderful not having to grope around for my timer every 3 minutes.

I loaded the sound file onto my cell phone and put it in a folder called "Meditation." There is nothing else in the folder. But I can't seem to figure out how to have the music player just stop after the meditation file. It automatically goes on to the next song in my phone, which happens to be "Beloved," by the group Tenth Avenue North.

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me yeah *now*

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
and Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 
and it binds you to me yea now now

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And**taste new life

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
it binds you to me

You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery