isvarapranidhana & dhyana

Today I hit day 7 of my 40-day kundalini meditation self-challenge, and interesting things are starting to happen. (I inadvertently skipped a day when I had a kundalini class and then ran around all day and just plain forgot about it.)

1. The practice is kind of hit or miss in terms of how hard it is to maintain the postures. Sometimes it downright hurts, and other times it doesn't bother me much at all. And it also varies by segment: Sometimes the first 3 minutes can be the easiest, sometimes the second 3 minutes is the easiest. I have noticed each of the last 3 days that the last segment, however, is not too bad.

2. I'm starting to get outside of the physical sensations and am able to focus for short periods of time on my 6th chakra. This is kind of cool and a little disorienting, as well. It sort of makes you a little dizzy to roll your eyes up like that. Did I mention my eyes are closed? They are. I imagine it would be even more dizzying to have them open!

3. Yesterday as my arms were hurting and my left bicep was spasming, I found myself thinking about my kundalini teacher saying, "It's just sensation. Take notice and then let it go." That's fairly simple to do when you are in an asana or doing a kriya that is not as long or as physically taxing. But when you are sitting in this meditation and your arms are hurting and you have your eyes closed and are not really sure how much longer there is to go (I set a timer down behind my left hand so that I can just turn it off and then back on), it's a lot harder. What bubbled into my head was Jesus on the cross. His arms were hurting much worse than mine ever will. He had his hands nailed to the cross and he was hanging there, pushing himself by his legs (his feet also nailed) to help fill his lungs with air. And yet he was able to pray and talk to his father, speak to the people on the ground and to the two people who were on crosses on either side of him. (John 19:17-37) He was suffering more than anyone ever should and could have called the whole thing off. But he didn't. Just for us. So isn't it kind of a small token of our appreciation to give Him 9 minutes of minor physical discomfort. As my kundalini teacher said the other day, "It's only 9 minutes. We all have 9 minutes."