Stops and starts. For several weeks it was all started. A nice routine of 10 minutes of meditation in the morning and then again at night.
Now it's all stopped. When I try to go back to it out of guilt, I get nothing. No concentration whatsoever. Not even relaxation. I'm having to let go of that too...the idea that I may not meditate for a bit. I know this about myself: if I am not interested in doing something? If I am trying to make myself do it because I should? Then resentment will set in. And I run the risk of dropping it for months and months or even years.
I enjoy meditation. I suspect I'll come right back to it in a week and a day. Why then? Because my job will have ended for the summer. I'll have six weeks of free time. Right not I'm working grueling hours and working hard while I'm at it. When I get home I'm ready to veg. My asana practice has slipped, as well. I am confident I'll get back into it...into a good routine...when this last week of work is over.
And then I'll tell about my dhyana journey. Promise. There is so much to tell!